i make old-man noises

it's true. i make old-man noises. all the time.

When I sit down after standing, my sigh creaks into something like eh-EH-Ahhhh.
When I take a flight of stairs that has more than 5 rises I begin to wheeze.
When I haven't spoken in a while, I tend to clear my throat.
When kids come to the door I tell them that "No, I won't give them back their frisbee, that it's on my roof and that they should be more careful," and when they arrive in costumes on Halloween I helpfully remind them that "it's cold out there, better bundle up!"