Rolling Meadows Saga (Part One): Must Be a Problem Back at Corporate
Approximately 10 days ago I made my very first visit to the chicago hinterlands. the way far up there northwest suburbs. And I shall never go back. oh no. I shall never go back. You see if there truly is an existence after this life, and the diety i have been instructed to believe in actually exists, and his deal is still on the table, and for whatever reason i come up a few straws short and end up not fulfilling my end of the bargain, and as a result must spend an eternity in utter torment, and said torment is manufactured in a devastatingly personal way, my personal hell would be finding myself stuck for all times in Rolling Meadows, IL.
I knew something was wrong right from the get-go. My dear Croft decided to take it upon herself and drive me up to the office building a computer prompted e-mail had told me where my autoCAD class was being held. Croftie was already late for her work when she dropped me off at an impressive twenty story number in the middle of nowhere, a.k.a Arlington Heights, IL. seriously, the building looked like the tower of Babel. Inside the plush front lobby was a security man. One of those no nonsense middle-aged men with graying temples and a demeanor that suggests they are taking it easy after an earlier much more violent career in something more or less security related. But those days were behind him and now he was taking it easy but just not letting anyone forget he could break a rhino in half over his knee if the need should arrise.
Security Man eyed me up and down. I obviously didn't belong here. I gave him my name and the company i was taking the class with and even though he found the name on his little printed out sheet thingy he still didn't trust me. After asking for my ID he 'let' me "wander around the lower floors, grab a coffee, whatever, since i was an hour early and i didn't need to be buzzed up to 18 just yet." I didn't want coffee but made some tea and ate some corn-pops i had brought and watched all the businessmans and ladies walking by in there power suits and blazers. Time crept by and soon it was 8:15am. my class started in 15 minutes. I asked Security Man to "buzz me up to 18." Funny thing was, nobody up there was having me.
Nobody answered. not then. not at 8:30am. not at 8:45am. By this point i was close to a panic attack. the first day of my class, a class i spent good money on, a class that had begun 15 minutes ago that i was not yet a part of but should be was already underway. After much begging and pleading I forced frazzled Security Man to let me up to the 18th floor. There i found the Autodesk Office, locked up tight. nobody around. I knocked. The time went by. I buzzed. the time went by. I freaked out. That is when a dapper fellow with a bit of Mr Rogers in him walked up behind me and let me inside the office. He assured me that "oh no, classes haven't been held here in months, that there would be donuts and coffee on the table right there if there was a class being held, but there wasn't any donuts because there hadn't been a class held here in months." I sat down and took a few deep breaths. Rogers patted me on the shoulder and made a call.
I assumed the class hadn't had enough folks enrolled and had been canceled. I assumed that Autodesk did not teach this class anymore and that somehow i had not been notified of this decision. No and no. There was a class. I was enrolled. But said class was being held at their office in Rolling Meadows, a 15 minute drive away, and boy were they sorry about the mix-up. Another lady in the class had the same problem. Only somehow her company had been contacted at the last minute, and tragedy was averted. I was a part of no company. Invisible, non-existent companies cannot be contacted. I was uninformed and late for the first day of class.
I had Rogers call a cab. I then called the office in Rolling Meadows to let them know I would be there soon. A gruff voiced man who i spoke with, let's call him Scrappy, said "forget the cab, I'll come and pick you up. Its our fault, let us fix things." 10 minutes later a very confused cab driver walked in the plush lobby and I pretended not to know what he was there for. Security Man did his thing, was all tough and showed the befuddled chinese cabbie who most certainly was in the right place that he was in fact in the wrong place. another 5 minutes and i walked out past the blinky eyed cabbie and Scrappy gave me a ride into Hell.