That Idiot Neighbor

Sort of like goldilocks, Croftie and I have 3 neighbors. Michael, the owner of the middle portion of our three-piece building, is a kind man who loves dogs, fixes random stuff for us, doesn't mince words, is gay as a kite and quite a good fellow. No problems there.

The tenant who lives in the lower part of Michael's middle portion is a divorced abomination of a man who has a son from his previous marriage that he lets do whatever the hell he wants in the back courtyard including spraying everything and everyone with a garden hose. But he's gone most of the time and can largely be ignored.

The tenant on the far end of the complex on the ground level is by far the worst. You'd think that with being that far away that we'd hear from him the least. Not so. He and his frat-boy friends who I assume are all junior investment brokers (if there is a such a thing) have a party every other weekend that gets broken up by the cops (called by the large number of stodgy old folks in these parts, lord knows why frat-boy moved here in the first place, you'd think Lincoln Park would be more his cup of MGD) and is generally obnoxious. Now that we have a loud jet engine of an air-condtioner his raucousness is not as much a problem. But there are evenings when I sit at my desk and type, exactly as I am now, and get to listen to the priceless gems that escape his mouth.

1. "Who, COOL!!! He sucked it back in!!!" Said regarding his dog who was in the process of relieving himself.

2. "That girl sure is lucky I have a penis, because that's what she really needs right about now."

3. "Wow, dude, look! If you step on them... they glow forever!" Said after mashing fireflies, one of nature's most brilliant and romantic creatures, into the stones of our back patio.

and with that, g'night.