I'm still a Wise Ass

Marriage can't change everything. Or most things really. Evidenced by nuanced replies to the questions I've been getting from my friends and co-workers.

The first time I heard this it was from an Uncle. "So, what's it feel like to be a married man?" I replied,

"Fantastic!"

Friend #1 in quick succession, "How's married life treating ya?"

"Um, good?" Of course the question mark in my reply refers more to 'is this a sufficient answer?' than implying any sort of uncertainty to my marital bliss.

Friend #4 "So, how's it feel to married!" (with an insane amount of emphasis on 'married' as if it was some sort of mythical state that has been achieved by 2, perhaps 4 people throughout the course of human history)

"Pretty great!," said with a smile which at this point was still genuine.

Co-worker #7 "How was the wedding? What's it feel like..." me cutting them off hopefully not too impatiently,

"It was great! I couldn't be happier." said while not looking away from computer screen.

Co-worker #11 "hey Doug, congrats. Say, how does it feel to be..."

"Married? Hmmm. That's tricky. very hard to say. But i will try and explain. Imagine holding your immortal soul in your hand, it's the size of a grapefruit and luminous and ethereal and beautiful. Now grab onto that soul and crack it in half as violently as possible. Now have the person you love the most in the entire world do the same to their soul. Finally, take one half of your soul and sew it to one half of your partner's. make sure to firmly snuff out whatever halves you do not chose to merge. The new frankensoul is yours to share for the rest of your natural lives."