Power Animal

As far as pointless work conversations go, this one was actually interesting. Someone was chatting at the front of the store about totem animals, as in if you were a shaman or something and had a choice what animal would best represent you. The conversation then meandered to Fight Club's 'power animal' sequence, where Ed Norton is in 'his cave' and his power animal is a penguin. Eventually the track led to if you could actually be any animal in the world, what would you be? (yeah, business was kind of slow today...)

I chose a duck.

For the following many many reasons you can see why this is a superior selection:

a) I get to fly.
b) If a mallard, I get to be pretty one, with cool long feathers off the side of my head. (see picture above)
c) I totally get to do that upside down underwater move where my tail and feet are all wiggling straight up in the air.
d) if a girl duck, I totally get to lead those cute as hell duckling parades across streets near the park.
e) I get to eat bugs
f) water-proof.
g) quacking sounds cool and isn't annoying at all.
h) get to hang out with your friends and swim all day.
i) multiple layers of feathers make me impervious to the cold.
j) migrating is both impressive and an environmentally friendly way to travel.
k) if a cartoon, surprisingly immune to shotgun blasts + my bill will do that neat spinning around my whole head thing.
l) webbed feet.
m) adorable waddle while on land.

need i go on?